BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS SCRIPT PDF

List of Characters in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Best Little Whorehouse Film Best Little Whorehouse Film Screenplay (Script). s, Texas. Great memorable quotes and script exchanges from the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas movie on AUDITIONS-The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas Written by Carol Hall, Larry L King, Peter Masterson Directed Cold readings from the script.

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It was the nicest little whorehouse you ever saw. It lay about a mile outside the city limits, so everybody could feel real friendly. Oh, the little house lay In a green Texas glade Where the trees were as coolin’ As fresh lemonade Soft summer wind had a trace of perfume And a fan was turnin’ in every room Twenty fans were turnin’, they were turnin’ Twenty fans were turnin’ in every room Fevers were a-burnin’, they were burnin’ And they had to have a way to cool down Right from the beginning, the sfript house was special, Miss Wulla Jean put a Pianola in the parlour to sorta help break the ice.

A fella could ask a girl to dance or, if he held back a little, she’d ask him. And pretty soon they’d get a little business goin’.

It wasn’t long before it became one of the better-known pleasure twxas in Texas. So much so that the fellas who visited during World War I The hospitality and friendliness never changed, She liked her ladies, as she called ’em, And she insisted that each girl check her gentleman for the clap Some of the whorehiuse claimed that that was the best part!

It was only durin’ the Rexas Depression that the little house had tough times. Miss Wulla Jean put in a jukebox to spark up business. But it whhorehouse always easy in them days to come up with hard cash. Well, you just keep that in the bag So for a while, as the story goes, One bird, one lay.

And that’s how the place got its name. Course, if you grew up anywhere in Texas, Twenty fans were turnin’, they were turnin’ Twenty fans were turnin’ in every room Fevers were a-burnin’, they were burnin’ And they had to have a way to cool down Twenty fans were hummin’, they were hummin’ Twenty fans were hummin’ in every room Customers were comin’, they were comin’ And they had to have a way to cool down Twenty fans were turnin’, they were turnin’ Twenty fans were turnin’ in every room Fevers were a-burnin’, they were burnin’ And they had to have a way to cool down Twenty fans were hummin’, they were hummin’ Twenty fans were hummin’ in every room Customers were comin’, they were comin’ And they had to have a way to cool down Y’all come back now, you hear?

Twenty fans were turnin’, they were turnin’ Twenty fans were turnin’ in every room Fevers were a-burnin’, they were burnin’ And they had to have a way to cool down Twenty fans were turnin’, they were turnin’ Twenty fans were turnin’ in every room Fevers were a-burnin’, they were burnin’ And they had to have a way to cool down – Hallelujah – Hallelujah For three generations, the Chicken Ranch went peacefully about its business That is, until about seven years ago.

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I was a deputy back then, workin’ for Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd. You wanted me to remind you about your appointment. That was right after I had lost the fried chicken franchise, Everybody liked Ed Earl, especially Ed Earl. Course, he sure did know his job, and he was a big influence on me.

Taught me everything I know. He used to like to run a quiet town Oh, now and again there’d be a problem, and we had some tough ones.

Like the time the mule sat on Miss Modene’s car. He just buckled up his legs and sat down.

and The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas | Screenwriting from Iowa

She was really havin’ a hissy fit, but it didn’t faze Ed Earl. He liittle walked over to that jackass and laid down the law.

You see, Ed Earl always believed in talkin’ first. Cool reasonin’, he used to tell me, could solve any whorebouse. Course, he did have a bit of shorehouse temper. Anyway, just about the time he became sheriff, Miss Wulla Jean passed on. She left the Chicken Ranch to her favourite workin’ girl, Mona Stangely, And please don’t show us no tattoos, no hearts and flowers on your thigh It’s downright tacky.

Brands belong on cattle And that ain’t what we’re bezt at Miss Mona’s Do you catch my drift? I pay the food and the rent and the utilities You keep your mind on your work responsibilities Don’t let your mouth overload your littl And we can get along Dawn? Any bad habits you come in with, get rid of right now I can’t stand no chewin’ gum, it looks just like a cow Anyone takin’ sick leave oughta be real sure they’re sick And every time you hear that bell You better get here double-quick And as for pimps Pimps are somethin’ you don’t need to get your daily business done Are you listenin’ good?

Keep them leeches and bloodsuckers off the back roads I know how to use a gun and nobody messes with my girls And any questions you might have about the way I run this place Don’t gripe and whine behind my back Just tell me face-to-face, I’m open-minded Say it all, then go upstairs and pack The door’s thataway She pays the food and svript rent and the utilities We keep our mind on our svript responsibilities Don’t let your mouth overload your capabilities And we can get along Well, howdy, boys.

It’s good to see you. Nice to meet you. Come on over here. I’d like you to meet my girls. It’s just a little-bitty pissant country place Nothin’ much to see No drinkin’ allowed, we get a nice quiet crowd Plain as it can be It’s just a piddly, squattin’ old-time country place Nothin’ too high-toned Just lots of goodwill and maybe one small thrill But there’s nothin’ dirty goin’ on It’s just a little-bitty pissant country place Nothin’ much to see No drinkin’ allowed, we get a nice quiet crowd Plain as it ih be It’s just a piddly, squattin’ old-time country place Nothin’ too high-toned Just lots of goodwill and maybe one small thrill Just lots of goodwill and maybe one small thrill Just lots of goodwill and maybe one small thrill But there’s nothin’ whorhouse goin’ on – Nothin’ dirty goin’ on – Yeah!

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Well, everything was goin’ along fine, just like always, Some think that’s when the trouble started. For years, the winning seniors But, actually, the real teas started brewin’ about three days before.

I can’t tell you how thrilled we are with your contribution. Tedas kids’ll be so excited, and the mayor too. The council will probably vote you another plaque. Lord, I hope not. I got a closet full of ’em now! You know Miss Mona. Oh, yes, of course! Miss Mona has just capped the goal for the Little League fund campaign.

Well, on behalf of my son and his team-mates, I wanna thank you. You tell ’em I’ll be well repaid when they take the championship next year. He went to Meritsville.

He’ll be gone all afternoon. Well, you tell him I said hi.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

The sheriff’s real particular about security there. Well, one of these nights, you drop in. My girls would love to show you a little appreciation. You know I’m a married man. Fred, you think the cows don’t appreciate the time off So I told you a hundred times – watching you get undressed is the littlr part.

Well, maybe not the best littls, but in the top two. Now, would I wanna disappoint my little honey? You just hold your horses. I got a surprise for you. I went by the post office. I picked up a package from Frederick’s of Hollywood.

Just a little something sexy I thought you’d like. It don’t look little to me. Well, it ain’t a trainin’ bra, but I believe Whorrhouse can fill it out.

You know, Mona, I’ve known a lot of women in my life. None of ’em have ever been exciting to me like you are. Even after all these years we’ve been meetin’ like this? I’ll tell you something. A year with you is like Well, now, that is just about the sweetest thing anybody ever said to me.

You did that real fast. I’ve had a lot of practice gettin’ in and out of my clothes. I do you like the outfit? Makes me feel real sexy! Well, you don’t look real sexy. It’s them damn droopy boxer drawers. I just hate the looks of them.

These are a brand-new pair. I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. People tell me I have a real sexy quality about me. Well, you scripy, but them boxer shorts don’t.